SY

The trials and tribulations of a new knitter...


Facebooking, Which Dancer Are You?

Returning to social media and Facebook theme, we highlight further insight into Facebook. There is a new dance that we could compare to the Waltz, the Samba and such classic human movement concertos we define as dance.

Facebook has choreographed a few new dances, although we have personally witnessed movements similar to the Pas de deux and the Bop. One conjures up images of a Nureyev and Fonteyn classic.

Facebook dance movements can be classified as such:

  1. A member is on chat merrily chatting away until one logs-in, then whoosh, they miraculously dissipate and have the audacity to take an encore by peeping ten minutes later and immediately dissipating again, instead of soaking up the rapturous applause. This new dance lacks elegance and style and is akin to the Bop.
  2. Member is posting away and commenting and "liking" until you log-in, then their fingers are frozen,and once again whoosh they dissipate, now Facebook has a generic time stamp, and the like they just clicked on says - "30 seconds ago" This is called the Ghost Dance.
  3. Thirdly, they later send you lame messages, "oh gosh I just missed you, wanted so badly to chat" This dance is called the "Bollockero"
  4. This is a personal favorite Facebook dance, it is called the marathon dancer, they are always on chat at three in the morning and again at Midday, low and behold, their icon appears on the left with a green illumination marker as testimony to their chat status. Not even Nureyev had this kind of stamina. One can check for signs of sweat on their brow, there is never a trace of it.
  5. Finally, there is the "cause" dancer, who collects silver plated gold hearts, purple hazed gemstones, diamond toothy smiles, and then the sweetest one of all "the happiest Facebook character on Facebook." This dance is so elegant that the intrinsic movements are barely discernible and the participant sweeps their page with such grace and demeanor that choreography is indefinable. More commonly known as, "Pass de Award Dance."
The Facebook dance academy is a burgeoning institution, the familiar jive we revered in the fifties and sixties has become the 'Duck and Dive' of the millennia.
Which dancer are you?
In conclusion, one aspect of Facebook that should be an improvement is the good old Profile Photos; Photo- Shop has never had such great usage as it presently enjoys. Profile pictures exude a youthful and spiritual character of all Facebook members.Please use Photo-Shop but be cognizant of your own limitations, colleagues and clients alike will look out for any anomaly.

You do not want to look like a prize turkey the day before Thanksgiving, lest you want to stir up the ire of the American Humane Association, rather be the splodge of cranberry on the lily white damask linen, this has an artistic or Jackson Pollock undertone to your character.

Perhaps if Facebook introduced a swimsuit version to their profile picture, honesty and sanity would prevail. Imagine a swimsuit photo of Mark Zuckerberg in his bathing trunks on a frosty wind swept Chicago day. I would wager a dime to a dollar that Marks own team members would not recognize this edition of his profile photo. Preferably, I would prefer a photo of my neighbors' wife in her swimsuit best!

Having spent almost my entire life on my feet, my height and posture has given me a perspective very few normally enjoy.
This perspective I call "head spotting" and this ultimately leads to characterisation of people you interact with on a super fast platform.
I thank everyone from the past and anyone from the future, they have contributed toward my character, perspective and social interaction in a meaningful way.

Vernon RC Boxall

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